I felt him release his grip on my life jacket. I turned my head, still frantically clinging to the dirt and rocks on the embankment he had pushed me to. I saw the look of surrender in his eyes, and the violent current responded by beginning to pull him away. I was safe. He could give up now. It seemed like everything was happening in slow motion as panic welled up inside me and I decided in that moment that I would rather die with him than live without him. I let go of the embankment to grab the strap of his life jacket. "Don't leave me", I screamed over the roar of the raging river as we were sucked back into the current we had been fighting so hard against. July 30, 2018 is a day that will forever be etched into my mind. As a survivor of childhood trauma and a Masters level … [Read more...]
The Power of Acceptance on Mother’s Day
Sometimes there's just not a Mother's Day card that fits. For those of you who have stood awkwardly in the greeting card section of the local supercenter, this post is for you. Maybe you stand in that aisle, putting cards back one by one because you can't find the one that says what you need it to. There isn't a Hallmark card that says "It's okay. You did the best you could and I turned out okay.", now is there? Maybe it's not that you don't want to acknowledge the holiday or let your mom know that you love her, you just want a card that doesn't feel dishonest and phony. Some of us have mom shaped holes in our hearts and there's no day that you feel the ache of those places quite like Mother's Day. To be a mother is to put your child's needs above your own, when necessary. … [Read more...]
In humble gratitude
In 2014, on my old blog that had decent page views, faithful advertisers and loyal subscribers, I published an Open Letter to Michael Brown's mama after his shooting death at the hands of police. I conveyed my deep sympathy for her loss and my sadness over the way her baby's name was being drug through the mud as his youthful mistakes were being blamed for the unjust actions of adults sworn to protect. While I knew my opinion was not popular amongst my Facebook friends, I was completely unprepared for the level of vitriol and hate that filled my inbox after hitting publish on that post. And the source of that hate, judgment and nastiness were my "Christian" readers who felt that I was "abandoning my faith" and "giving officers a death sentence" and "bowing to political … [Read more...]
Episode 1 #sospodcast
So excited to share the inaugural episode of The SOS Podcast with Melissa Smallwood! Sharing Our Stories was my original podcast on Blog Talk Radio way back in 2009. Recently, I felt a stirring to relaunch it and share the stories that make up our lives. And, here we are. Enjoy this episode as I share a little of my heart and then interview the fabulous Kristy Sutton of This Hard Calling as she shares her story of foster care, adoption and starting a non-profit. You can connect with Kristy on Facebook and Instagram as well. Listen in and be sure to let me know what you think! And, if you would be so kind, please subscribe to the podcast and leave me a review! That helps get my podcast shared with other listeners! … [Read more...]
40 Things I’ve Learned in 40 Years
This time seven years ago, I wrote a post entitled 33 Things I've Learned in 33 Years. Today, I turned 40 and decided to update what I listed then (in purple) and add seven more life lessons (although I'm sure I could think of more)! Polka dots and hot pink make me smile. (and ruffled sleeves and ankle boots) There are few sounds that bring as much joy as a baby belly laughing. (especially when it's your grandbaby) Marriage is hard work, but oh so worth it. (and gets sweeter with time) There is a huge difference between a job, a career and a calling. (and the magic happens when you can combine all three) When people say “enjoy these moments because they grow up so fast” they are not exaggerating one bit. Kids literally grow up in the … [Read more...]