5 Ways to Help Your Husband Feel Loved

    Source: chaseandem.blogspot.com via Emi on Pinterest Mike and I had the privilege of escaping for 10 kid free, work free, responsibility free days in September to celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary. We had a wonderful time together. A few days ago, my hubby remarked that we needed to plan a cruise every year because he felt really loved by me {and not just in a sexual way} on that trip. His words have stayed with me and God used those words to convict my heart that my husband should not have to plan a getaway with me to feel loved by me. I have to admit, I am not the best at showing love to him. We have come far in our almost 17 years together, but I still tend to give him my leftovers, instead of the best of me. I have been praying and journaling and came … [Read more...]

Focus on the Good

I have friends going through difficult times.  Some friends are single and healing from past hurts.  Some are dealing with the aftermath of divorce.  Some are struggling to stay married. I pray for marriage everyday.  My marriage, my children's future spouses, my friends marriages and marriage in general.  God designed this special union to illustrate the way Christ feels about the Church.  What could be more special than that? While I pray for marriage everyday, I am not good at being married everyday. Sometimes, when you have been married as long as we have {will be 15 years in July}, you tend to get irritated by the little things that you thought were adorable when you first met. For instance, I can not stand the way my husband chews.  Simply can NOT take it.  And, I don't like food … [Read more...]

Fill my tank

Why do we run on empty and then wonder why we are stressed and burnt out? This was a question posed by my pastor a few months ago.  I wrote it down because, while an obvious sentiment, I forget this principle far too often in my busy life. I have been running on empty lately.  Two kids are graduating, vacation plans, physical therapy and other doctor appointments,15th birthdays, church obligations, ministry work, writing--you get the picture. Something's gotta give. Unfortunately, it has been my marriage and my relationship with God.  I was reminded by a good friend that we can say that God is our number one priority and our spouse is a close second but if the way we spend our time and energy do not reflect that, we are fooling ourselves. I was in a rush this morning and knew I needed … [Read more...]

Does life make my butt look big?

Today's topic is: Does your hubby help you lose weight or hurt you? Can I start off by saying that it is incredibly frustrating to be married to the man that can eat a mixing bowl of cereal right before bed and not gain an ounce?  The guy whose 6'2" self weighed less than my 5'4" self for a long time?  For crying out loud, the man's body has barely changed since we married {almost} 14 years ago while mine- well, suffice it to say, my body has changed. Throw in chronic illness and medication side effects and I can feel like a real mess standing next to him. I am blessed to have a husband who is attracted to me no matter the season my body is going through. It makes me think that God gave men some kind of special lens through which they see their spouse.  I can guarantee you that Mike … [Read more...]

When “it” hurts

Blogging has been scarce lately but I am slowly getting back in the swing of things, including joining in for Wifey Wednesday posts about marriage.  You can search for other marriage posts I have written by typing Wifey Wednesday or marriage in the search box in the right hand corner of your screen. This week's topic is one I am unfortunately familiar with-  Having an active sex life with my spouse and a chronic illness. This is soooo not easy. As most of you know I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in January 2008 and systemic lupus in October 2009.  My health is a roller coaster and even on my "good" days I am exhausted and hurting by bedtime. Thankfully, I have a patient and understanding {and just all around awesome} hubby.  But, sex is still crucial to the health of a … [Read more...]

Meeting Needs

I remember those early days {translate years} of marriage.  Those years where I walked around wondering why Mike wasn't working harder to make me happy, why he wasn't meeting my needs and whine, whine, whine. Do you notice how many me's, I's and my's are in those questions? As God has grown our marriage and grown us as individuals {not always a pretty process, by any means} we have learned a lot about our needs and meeting each others needs in the context of marriage. Here are a few things God has revealed to me in our marriage: 1+1+1=2: Anyone that knows me knows that math is not a strong suit but this equation is actually accurate when it comes to marriage and relationships.  Marriage is between two imperfect human beings.  Mistakes abound.  Cruel words are spoken {usually by me} … [Read more...]

Back to submitting

I spent a lot of time broken before God (and my hubby) last night and this morning.  It is a long story but it boils down to my flesh wanting something (really bad), rationalizing why it would be a great thing for me to do (for my blog, for my ministry, for ME, ME, ME), resenting my husband for not supporting it. Is going to a blogging conference bad? No!  I am going (with my hubby's blessing and support) to three more this year. But, EVO was not meant to be for me (even though I won a ticket, won a site redesign and had a partial sponsorship).  And, instead of submitting to my husband's wishes about this two weeks ago, I dug my heels in.  I was stubborn, determined and wasted so much time and energy pursuing something that in the end was for naught. You see, God knew (and my husband's … [Read more...]

Moving past your past

Since I was pregnant when my {now} husband and I met, you would think that we would both have been comfortable about each other's sexual past when we got married.  You would think wrong. He had a difficult time knowing that I had been promiscuous since a young age and I had a difficult time knowing that he hadn't. I had a difficult time not experiencing shame and remorse.  He had a difficult time trusting that I wasn't going to be unfaithful. We had a difficult time. Thankfully, Jesus entered the picture and our marriage less than a year after our vows.  Verses like Romans 8:1 patched up broken places in my heart with the life giving cement of forgiveness.  The entire book of Hosea helped my hubby realize that God planned for Mike to play a role in His pursuit of my heart.  God knew it … [Read more...]

When you mess up in marriage

Sometimes I think that God is bound and determined for me to air every mistake I have ever made on this here blog 'o mine.  Today the topic for Wifey Wednesday is "When you are the one who blew it". I have blown it in my marriage.  Many times.  In many ways. I will share with you the BIG one that God laid on my heart when I saw the topic. I STINK at managing money.  Always have and it is something that God (and my hubby) have taught me a lot about over the years.  I teach on it now (God has a full circle sense of humor). Finances are a major issue for my husband because he grew up in a poor family and has taught himself a lot about biblical stewardship. He helps people in our lives that need assistance in building a budget, etc. Yet, he married me. We have had issues in our marriage … [Read more...]

What is women’s work?

I wrote yesterday about how I am surrounded by testosterone in my world.  Three sons, hubby, brothers, nephews, etc.  So, the topic that Sheila is addressing over at To Love, Honor and Vacuum today is one I have considered more than once. I do believe that the mother, the wife, is responsible for the household "work".  Do I believe that means I have to do it all?  Absolutely not.  But, I am accountable for how my household operates. Going back to the Proverbs 31 woman, the Bible says this: She carefully watches everything in her household       and suffers nothing from laziness. (verse 27) Notice the Bible does not say, she carefully cleans everything in her household but that she watches.  She makes sure that everything gets done.  That what is important does not fall through the … [Read more...]

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