Category Archives: hope

When you learn something from Pretty Little Liars

Yes, I watch the overly-dramatic, somewhat predictable ABC Family show, Pretty Little Liars, on Tuesday evenings with my daughter. It is our special time since the males in this family aren’t the slightest bit interested.  Shayla started a new job (so proud of her) so now we watch on DVR, but it is still precious time together.

I did not anticipate learning something useful to my life from the show.  Last week’s episode, however, reminded me about a psychological theory that struck a chord in my heart; the concept of ambiguous loss.

I’m not sure why it never occurred to me that I could suffer from something I so easily recognize in others.  Working in healthcare, particularly with the elderly, I see families walk through this valley of uncertainty when their loved one is living with dementia.  Suffering the loss of someone still alive is a tentative, confusing predicament.

My relationship with my maternal side of my family has been disrupted over the years, for various and sundry reasons.  A lot of the distance, especially over the last few years, has been intentional on my part and necessary for my mental health.

“Remembering. Forgetting. I’m not sure which is worse.”
― Kelley Armstrong, The Calling

Being cut off from relationships that have been central in your life for so long is painful.  It hurts, it makes me cry, it makes me mad.  God has brought me so far in the battle of overcoming the past but moving forward requires a daily decision to let things go.

And, a daily decision to grieve.  Grieve what could have been, what should have been, what I wish was.  And, it’s not a death where I can visit a grave or even look forward to Heaven for closure.  It’s ambiguous loss and it took Pretty Little Liars to put my finger on it.

Is there an ambiguous loss in your life?  How do you deal with it?

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. ~Romans 12:18

 

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He Heard Hannah~ A True Story by a Dear Friend

UPDATED:  The two winners of a copy of He Heard Hannah are Jamie R. and Carla Raley.  Please email me your mailing address to kmelissasmallwood@gmail.com.  If I do not hear from the winners in 48 hours, another will be chosen.  Thank you all for entering and be sure to buy the book, it is wellContinue Reading

Getting down and dirty with Jesus

I am a girly girl. I am quite certain that is why God made me the mama of three active boys {proof of God’s sense of humor}. I don’t “do” certain things: dirt, bugs, scary movies..did I mention dirt? My hubby and boys laugh at the amount of luggage I take on a camping trip. Continue Reading

The day I didn’t die

Two years ago today I did not die. Two years ago today my husband dialed 911 after I lost consciousness. Two years ago I arrived via ambulance to the emergency room “in a fairly severe amount of physical distress and unresponsive…showing cyanosis peripherally as well as centrally.  Cool to touch and diaphoretic.  Difficulty getting aContinue Reading

Do you know my Jesus?

I know He doesn’t look like the pictures I’ve seen since childhood. I know He loves me more than I will ever be able to fathom. I know that He cares about the details of my life, the lives of teen girls and the lives of all that read this. I know that He worksContinue Reading

Modern Day Miracle

Who would have thought that a rickety roller coaster and a sweltering day at a cheesy quaint amusement park could bridge huge holes of the heart? God. Who would have thought that the day would be full of smiles and fun, rather than anxiety and angst? God. Who would have thought that racing go-karts together (seeContinue Reading

Thankful Thursday- Possibilities

What an exciting theme for a Thankful Thursday post. Join in the fun here. The possibilities with God on your side are endless! I think we are all living proof of that! I am thankful for the possibilities that today holds. The Lord reminds us in Matthew 6:34 not to “worry about tomorrow, for tomorrowContinue Reading