If tomorrow doesn’t come {a God sized dreams post}

  When you send your 3rd graders to school with a kiss and a lunch packed with love, you expect them to return home to you at the end of the day. But sometimes they don't. When your 8th grader complains of pain in his hip, you expect to give him some ibuprofen and for it to get better. But sometimes it won't. When God lays a dream on your heart, you expect for there to always be time to accomplish it, to dream with Him, to pursue all He has. But sometimes there isn't. Tomorrow may not come for me, for you, for anyone.  All we have is today. The riskiest thing about my God sized dreams would be to not pursue them.  Even if I just take a baby step towards those dreams each day, that is something. It counts.  It matters. Small steps add up to great distances. I … [Read more...]

12 Things I want you to know about living with Lupus

May is Lupus Awareness Month. I have systemic lupus erythmatosus {SLE or lupus for short}, diagnosed in October 2009. I have friends that live with this disease as well.  Day in and day out, year after year lupus does not go away. I don't spend a lot of time focusing on lupus and the effect it has on my life but, at the same time, I am not embarrassed or ashamed of it.  I want to educate people about this insidious disease that needs a cure.  I am pulling back the curtain on this thorn in my flesh today to help raise awareness about this illness, one that affects more than 1.5 million people in the US alone and an estimated 5 million people around the world. The Lupus Foundation of America gives a brief description of lupus: "Lupus is a chronic, autoimmune disease that can … [Read more...]

Sometimes there’s just not a Mother’s Day card that fits

Maybe you stand in the greeting card aisle, putting cards back one by one because you can't find one that says what you need it to. There isn't a Hallmark card that says "it's okay. You did the best you could and I turned out just fine", now is there? Maybe it's not that you don't want to acknowledge the holiday or let your mom know that you love her, you just want a card that doesn't feel dishonest and phony.  For those of you who have stood awkwardly in the greeting card section of the local supercenter, this post is for you. Because some of us have mom shaped holes in our heart.  And there is no day that makes those places ache like Mother's Day. To be a mother is to put your child's needs above your own.  Sometimes, for various reasons,  mothers are unable or unwilling … [Read more...]

Worth the Wait

  Take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4 Have you ever prayed for something for such a long time that you started to wonder if God was listening?   The longer the wait, the shorter my faith. Shame on me. It was 17 years ago this spring that I had to make the incredibly difficult decision to stay put while my dad and brothers moved away.  I was a scared 17 year old girl, about to become a mama for the first time.  I didn't want the type of life for my baby that I had grown up with.  Letting my little brothers go without me literally tore my heart out and took me years to get past.  Looking back, I know I made the right decision but a piece of my heart traveled with them and I have never gotten it back. I have prayed and longed to … [Read more...]

Sacred community

She had left her body about an hour earlier. Twelve of us stood around her hospital bed, hands clasped, lips forming the words to Amazing Grace. Scriptures read, stories shared, tears shed. It was one of the most sacred experiences of my life. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   I had unknowingly entered a sacred sisterhood.  A band of women caring for a dying friend. They called themselves Donna's Angels and I, out of a desire to be kind to the gravely ill mother of my son's friend, became a member.  I had no idea the magnitude of blessing I would receive. Friends that gave up their nights and weekends with their families to … [Read more...]

Shining Light into the Dark {a God sized dreams post}

I got alone with God this week.  That usually corresponds to a good deal of writing {I added 2100 words to my manuscript on Monday!} and often results in conviction and action on my part as well. Sometimes, in the pursuit of this God-sized dream of mine, I get overwhelmed.  Thoughts like "there are plenty of other people that can write and teach" or "can a messed up girl like me really make a difference".  Times of concentrated prayer and leaning in to hear from my Father dispel those lies and doubts. God has handed me a candle. God simply asks that I light the candle He has given me.  To share with others the hope that He has provided … [Read more...]

Dreams need cheerleaders {a God sized dreams post}

She was my grandmother's best friend for their entire adult lives. And Monday God called her home. Too soon.  I am sad for her family.  For her grandbabies.  For her husband.  For my grandmother. For her clients. and, I'm sad for me. Kaye always made sure to tell me she was proud of me.  Even when I made poor choices and the trajectory of my life was altered forever.  She is the one who looked in my eyes and told me there were only good things in store for me. A few years ago, when I almost died from pulmonary emboli, I found myself wading through the "what did God leave me here for" type questions that often accompany such an experience.  Kaye met me at a diner and over coffee we talked for hours about my God sized dreams.  She was the first one {and for a long time the … [Read more...]

Because God dreamt it first (a God-sized Dreams post)

God's gifts put man's best dreams to shame. Elizabeth Barrett Browning   This week (and please don't remind my recovering Type-A self how many weeks behind I am because I will cry) Holley's challenge to her God Sized Dream Team is to write about the "why" behind our dream. Why? Why do I keep trying for a dream that is heavy with expectation and often elusive? Why do I commit time to something when I don't "see' return on the investment? Why haven't I given up on this calling and live a life satisfied with the status quo? Because the Dreamer (yes, I am referring to God that way) won't let me. That may sound silly or trite.  It's not. Way back in 2006 when the palpable presence of God nearly made me wreck my car (I should probably write about that sometime, huh?) a … [Read more...]

About that extra 21st chromosome

Today is World Down Syndrome Day. Just typing that makes me smile.  My life has been blessed by knowing several people with an extra 21st chromosome. Each one has brought joy to my life, especially Shawn. Shawn has taught me A LOT in the three years I've known him. Like the joy of turning up the music {despite the fact that his favorite is Justin Bieber} and dancing crazy-like in the car.  That going over bumps in the road is hysterically funny.  That ice cream cures all.   That playing fetch with my mini schnauzer, Chloe is a great way to spend three hours on a Sunday afternoon. I love how God shows off.  What the world views as a mutation, a genetic abnormality, is the perfect blend to create the most loving group of people I've ever had the pleasure to know. Do you know … [Read more...]

Joy is {a God sized Dreams post}

My pastor reminded us this week that we tend to confuse joy and happiness. Happiness is an external circumstance dependent fleeting feeling.  Joy is an internal, eternal gift that comes from our Heavenly Father. Joy can be found in the midst of the midst of the painful.  True joy transcends circumstance so it is not dependent on success or approval or accomplishment or reciprocation, joy simply is. The path to our God sized dreams has as much to do with the journey as the end result.  God is not waiting for us at the end of the finish line- He is walking the path with us.  The Source of true joy is right beside you every step of the way. And that truth, my friends, makes my heart smile. Will you join me and all the other God sized dreamers at www.holleygerth.com? … [Read more...]

Skip to toolbar