Watching My Words

I don't know why I choose to observe Lent because I'm terrible at it. Fasting from something for 40 days is apparently not my strong suit. I remember one of the first times I observed Lent I gave up sweet tea. Yes, that sounds silly but I had a habit of going through the Mickey D's drive thru a few times A DAY. It was a thing. What I purposed to do that year was that every time I thought about driving to get a large sweet tea, I would instead turn to God in prayer. God and I talked a lot more and I learned an important lesson. Sometimes our routines can become our enemies. Hitting the drive thru for a sweet tea was a habit, a routine. So, this year when I was praying about what I needed to give up for the Lenten season, I shouldn't have been surprised that another habit came to mind. … [Read more...]

A Step In Obedience

I must admit, it is more than a little intimidating to be publishing a post for the first time in 13 months! For many years, this space was where I came to share my heart, to process the goings-on of my daily life and to (hopefully) inspire other women. Then, for a myriad of reasons, it became increasingly quiet here. Eventually, I didn't know how to break the silence, nor did I have a desire to. I even contemplated saving my favorite posts and just deleting this ole blog, as I felt I had run out of things to say. The reason I didn't just delete the blog and close this chapter of my life was the nagging nudging of the Holy Spirit, continuously saying I wasn't yet done here. I could list the reasons I stopped writing, but it would just be an attempt to justify my disobedience. When I … [Read more...]

Putting Fear Away- A God sized Dreams Post

It was awkward. Stiff. It wasn't the throw me up in the air and let me think I'm going to fall, then catch me at the last minute type of hugs he gave when I was a little girl. It wasn't the comforting arms that soothed my tears and hurt feelings. But, it was one of the sweetest hugs my dad and I ever shared.  In that side-hug moment, thirteen years of bitterness, anger and fear melted away. Thirteen years of not speaking, let alone hugging. Love won. Restoration and healing began a fresh work in my heart. That was four years ago, after a near death experience had left me with an absence of fear and an overwhelming desire to chase after God's best for my life. Slowly, but surely fear crept back in.  It started with a fall that caused me to be out of commission for … [Read more...]

Doing Real Life Together

Last night, Shayla was in the ER {she has severe bronchitis and a urinary tract infection}.  It was late {or early, depending on how you look at it} and I was bored.  I took an Insta.gram picture with my iPhone and it posted to Facebook.  Within seconds, she was being prayed for.  By my friends that live in the computer and by my friends that live in my area. One awesome in-my-area friend {who must have insomnia} saw the post on Facebook and brought me coffee, bottled water, cookies and a hug at 1am.  Those five minutes got me through the F-I-V-E and a half hours we spent there.  Thank you, Kim! Shayla is resting comfortably in bed, getting some much needed sleep and letting the medications work their magic.  And, I am sitting here thankful for community.  Whether it is the friends I … [Read more...]

Lent Fail…or maybe not?

There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, 'Thy will be done' and those to whom God says, 'All right, then, have it your way'.  C.S Lewis   I typically approach Lent with a surrendered heart and a strong desire to grow closer to God in the weeks leading up to Easter. But, surrendered has not been the posture of my heart lately. Oh, I told God I wanted it to be.  But, my stubborn flesh has been winning over and over. Then, I read a {fabulous as usual} post from Ann Voskamp and realized that my attempted Lenten offering was a filthy, misguided offering. God wanted a true fast from me. Last week I surrendered to God something I have been battling him {and my hubby} about for over a year. and it was a fragrant offering to Him and has brought me a surprising amount of … [Read more...]

Whitney Houston and my witness

If I made a soundtrack of my life many of the songs would be sung by Whitney Houston. When I heard about her death I was saddened by the seeming waste of talent and the brevity of her life. Then a picture started circling Facebook and I "liked' it. It was basically saying that Whitney died and the world mourns and contrasted it to the number of children that die of preventable illnesses everyday and why doesn't the world mourn them? I completely agreed {and still do} with the premise of the photo which is why my first reaction was to click "like". Can I be real for a minute, friends? Whitney Houston loved Jesus and more importantly, Jesus loved Whitney Houston. And He loves each of those precious children around the world that perish each day. This fallen world takes all.  Jesus … [Read more...]

Breathe In, Breathe Out

Overwhelming to-do list. Unsatisfactory grades from the lanky boy who can do better. Cranky moments from a teething and first-time-ear-infection-suffering Sweet Pea. Breathe In. Breathe Out. Sanctuary filled with God's people, lifting up one voice in a cacophony of praise. Teaching a class about the power of communicating with Elohim through prayer. Breathe In. Breathe Out. Deadlines loom, some pass unattended.  Life seems to be quickening the pace, or is it me? Why can't I keep up? Breathe In. Breathe Out. Encouraging email arrives.  Confirmation through a text that God is at work. Breathe In.  Breathe Out. Don't want to waste a single breath on worry, anxiety or doubt.  Don't want to miss a chance to practice gratitude for the good, the God. Casting my cares. Breathing in, … [Read more...]

{day 19} Let go of what’s holding you back

As long as we are holding on to or harboring {unconfessed} sin in our lives, we will never experience the joy of the Lord. ~Pastor Ed Taylor There is something holding you back from experiencing a clean heart.  From experiencing the fullness of the abundant relationship with God that you were designed for. It's you.  It's me.  It's that thing we won't let go of. It is unconfessed sin that is dirtying up our hearts and holding us back from God's best. It doesn't matter what your thing is.  Sin is sin. It doesn't matter if you acknowledge it or not.  Sin is sin. It doesn't matter if you can rationalize and justify it away.  Sin is sin. If you are convicted by the Holy Spirit to let go of something and you continue to hold on to it, are choosing sin over God. There are … [Read more...]

Ebb and Flow of Life

This has been one of those weeks that simulated a roller coaster for my emotions.  Up, down, upside down, shoot back up. I'm not a roller coaster type of gal.  All of that can leave this mama exhausted in every way possible. Our weekend was full.  Of learning, of fellowship, of family fun. The speaker at the retreat we attended was speaking right to my heart and situation. How to hear God, how to really hear what He is saying to me and how He is saying it.  A verse shared that confirmed an exciting realization. The enemy knows when change is taking place in my heart and attempted to thwart the momentum.  The attempt was momentarily successful but through journaling, tears and prayer I got back on track. Then, as I already shared, Monday was a super special day for our family. Life … [Read more...]

Being sick is not fun but I choose joy

I am a positive person.  I believe that everything in life happens for a reason and that I can do all things through Him who gives me strength {Romans 8:28, Philippians 4:13}. But, I have to admit there are days and times that being chronically ill brings me down, way down. It probably doesn't help that I have had three surgeries in four months, have been mobility challenged since a fall in March and had to stop taking my MS therapy since my liver wasn't cooperating back in January. August has found me bitter most days.  Each day has felt like I am trying to walk in quicksand...I am brought down and frustrated far too easily.  Distractions have been fewer as well since Miss S and Sweet Pea were away at summer camp and my two younger boys were spending time with my … [Read more...]

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