When Parenting Teens and Young Adults is Hard

Wouldn’t it be nice if our kids could look at the replay of our lives and consider our mistakes a lesson learned on their behalf, thus saving themselves from anguish and heartache?

If you read here regularly, you know I write a monthly column for The M.O.B Society, a popular website just for mama’s of boys.  As a writing team we try to watch the Facebook page and give advice and insight when we can to questions that moms post there.  Yesterday, a mom posed a question about her 14 year old questioning his relationship with God and not wanting to go to church.  I’ve been down that road once or twice with my kids and quickly typed out a response for this mama that went something like this:

One of my boys was 14 when he went through this same type of issue. I was so scared and sad but our youth pastor reminded me that God and my son had to work out their own relationship- my salvation and relationship with God wouldn’t get my son to heaven. He needed his own. He told me to trust that God loved my son even more than I do and He would pursue his heart. And God won. Years later and my son doesn’t sit with arms folded all through church and goes to youth group and Bible study every week. Hit your knees, mama. It will be ok.

Isn’t it nice when we can give perfunctory advice to a struggling mama?  But, what about those moments when we forget those lessons ourselves?  When our kids trip and fall and we panic rather than fall to our knees- or is that just me?

One of the hardest struggles for my mama heart is watching my kids- especially the ones that are now out in the world on their own- make choices that have consequences I can’t {and shouldn’t} protect them from.  To get through those moments I turn to the Word and my prayer journal.  And verses like Ephesians 2: 3-5 bring my heart great comfort:

…Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath.  But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions–it is by grace you have been saved.

God loves them more than I do.  That is a fact.  He is rich in mercy and dispenses grace liberally.

He lavished that mercy on me and saved me with that undeserved grace.  I trust that He will do the same in the lives of my kids.

Rest in that truth, mama. I know I am.

 

Comments

  1. To be honest, this is one thing i fear. As long as they live under our roof they don’t have a choice, but i WANT them to want go, i want their to be a hunger to go not because mom and dad say so but because the Holy Spirit is leading them. right now mine are 10 and younger. NOW is the time to get them “wanting” to go. we live about 30 minutes from our church. and those who come travel from the other direction for about 20-30 minutes, Friendships are so important. Though we have been going for about 4 1/2 years those friendships are not happening for our children and the, it has become a real burden. We have begun to see changes in their attitudes as well. There was a time when they’d cry because we couldn’t make it, now those tears don’t come and they don’t question “why” we are not going. Though we love our church it makes me wonder. In the prayer stage right now.

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