Sometimes there’s just not a Mother’s Day card that fits

Maybe you stand in the greeting card aisle, putting cards back one by one because you can’t find one that says what you need it to.

There isn’t a Hallmark card that says “it’s okay. You did the best you could and I turned out just fine”, now is there?

Maybe it’s not that you don’t want to acknowledge the holiday or let your mom know that you love her, you just want a card that doesn’t feel dishonest and phony.  For those of you who have stood awkwardly in the greeting card section of the local supercenter, this post is for you.

mothers day

Because some of us have mom shaped holes in our heart.  And there is no day that makes those places ache like Mother’s Day.

To be a mother is to put your child’s needs above your own.  Sometimes, for various reasons,  mothers are unable or unwilling to do that. And it leaves children with wounds, wounds that run deep and make them question their worth.

Maybe it was an addiction.  Or a relationship.  Or a career.  Or mental illness. Maybe it was because they had mother shaped holes in their own hearts but sometimes moms just can’t be there for their children like they should be.  And there is no Mother’s Day card for mother’s like that.

Even when you have reconciled that she did the best she could with what she had and desire to have whatever semblance of a relationship that you can, on Mother’s Day it can feel forced and fake.

Oh, friends.  Standing in the greeting card aisle is when you need Jesus.  Ask Him to shine His light in the dark recesses of your heart and show you the good.  Because there was good.  For every hurtful word, painful choice or moment that you needed her and she wasn’t there, there was also good.

If nothing else, she gave you life.

Maybe she also breastfed you, giving your tiny self her antibodies and making sure you had a healthy start.  Maybe she protected you from the temper of an abusive father.  Maybe she pushed you on the swings of the playground or kissed your knee when you skinned it trying to roller skate.  Maybe she braided your hair when it was wet so it would be curly in the morning.  Maybe she painted your toenails and let you use her make-up. Maybe she whispered “I love you” in your ear when she thought you were sleeping.   Maybe, just maybe, she loved you the very best she could.

The wonderful thing about the power of God’s love is that He can plaster those mom shaped holes in your heart with His healing touch.  And, when you have let those holes be plastered with His love, you will start to feel a mercy and grace for your mom that you weren’t able to before.  A love that sees past the hurt into her heart.  A heart that most likely has deep regret and guilt over the way she mothered you.

They may not make a greeting card for the kind of mom you had. But there is a God that can redeem that situation and relationship if you let Him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

  1. What a beautiful, powerful, redeeming post. Thank you, sweet Melissa. Although I am blessed to have a good relationship with my mom, I have a lot of friends who will benefit from your words. Thank you for sharing!
    xoxo

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