Loosening My Grip

Sometimes, when I am quiet in this space, it becomes increasingly intimidating to return.

Is anyone reading here still?  And the haunting question always lurking in this writers mind– do I have anything important to say?

But God, sweet friends! He just doesn’t give up on this pen to paper call He has placed in my heart.  So, I write again.

Life has been challenging so far this year.  I am learning to parent palms up–letting go as my children learn to navigate this world on their own.  I never imagined watching my children stumble could hurt so much.  Gone are the days of brushing off skinned knees and bandaging boo-boos.  Two of my children are actually grown-ups now and two are quickly nearing the end of their childhood years.

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We had to carry out some tough love with one son, watch real life heartbreak up close, witness decisions that we don’t condone- and my mama heart is wrung out dry.  I am comforted knowing the same God who rescued me loves each of my kids with an everlasting love.  I know that what they need at this juncture is not judgment or opinions but love and a mother who prays.  And pray, I do.  This season of parenting, the push and pull of parenting teens and young adults, has brought me to my knees.

Prayers like this have become like breath-

God, pursue their hearts.

Protect them.

Forgive them.

And with each exhaled prayer, He breathes life back into me through His Word. 

The Lord will fight for your children.  You need only be still.  Exodus 14:14{paraphrased by Melissa}

I did not give you a spirit of fear, but of love, power and a sound mind. I Timothy 1:7

Be anxious about NOTHING, mama.  But in EVERYTHING, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.  Phil 4:6 {paraphrased by Melissa}

I’m emerging from a place of despair and anxiety, loosening my grip on the lives of my children so I can cling to the promises of the One who saves.  And, I’m writing about the journey in this place {and this one and this one} once more.

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