5 Ways to Help Your Husband Feel Loved



Mike and I had the privilege of escaping for 10 kid free, work free, responsibility free days in September to celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary. We had a wonderful time together. A few days ago, my hubby remarked that we needed to plan a cruise every year because he felt really loved by me {and not just in a sexual way} on that trip.

His words have stayed with me and God used those words to convict my heart that my husband should not have to plan a getaway with me to feel loved by me. I have to admit, I am not the best at showing love to him. We have come far in our almost 17 years together, but I still tend to give him my leftovers, instead of the best of me. I have been praying and journaling and came up with 5 ways I can treat Mike daily that will leave him feeling like we have just been on a cruise.

  • Compliments.  In the busyness of everyday life, I fail to compliment my husband often.  While we were away, I noticed things about him that are attractive.  The way he holds the door  for others, the way he looks in a dark green shirt.  I need to focus more on the things that draw me to him and make sure I verbalize those things to him on a daily basis.
  • Active Listening.  Many times on our vacation, we would just sit across from each other, with a cup of coffee and talk.  Instead of me doing all the talking, I took the time to listen to my husband.  Actively.   I made eye contact, leaned in, reflected back.  Probably most importantly, I wasn’t distracted by my iPhone.  I gave him my undivided attention.  I must make this a priority in our home life in order for my husband to know he is loved.
  • Physical Touch.  Mike’s primary love language is physical touch {with quality time a close second}.  Lots of walking around made for opportunities to hold hands or put our arms around each other.  Feeling connected makes Mike feel loved.  This is something I can easily incorporate into our daily lives.
  • Caring for Myself.  One of the comments Mike made on the cruise was that it was good to see me take care of myself.  He wasn’t talking about my appearance but that I took naps when I needed to, indulged in a massage and ate breakfast every day.  Because of my health issues, my sweet hubby worries about me and the fact that I tend to burn the candle at both ends {and from all sides}.  I can show him that I love him by taking care of myself.
  • Let My Hair Down.  I’m an anxious person with controlling tendencies.  I made it a point to stretch myself on our trip, trying things I wouldn’t normally.  I went snorkeling for one thing and although I didn’t do well at it {think panic attack in the middle of the Florida Keys and pushing people out of my way to get back on the boat when everyone else was trying to get off}, my hubby was proud of me for trying.  We rode on jet skis and went parasailing.  Mike is an outdoorsman and usually has to drag me to engage in those types of activities.  He thoroughly enjoyed my willingness to try new things and be his adventerous side kick. Who knows what we will get ourselves into next.

Those are just a few of the takeaways I have so far from my time in reflection and prayer over the last few days.  Making the investment of time and effort to make sure my husband feels loved every day of the year is well worth it,

What makes your husband feel loved?


  1. After reading this post, I think you and I must be sisters from another mother (smile!). (My soon to be adopted son says to his (adopted)best friend, “we are brothers from another, another mother.” Funny. ANYWAY, your post was beautiful as I struggle with this very thing at his phase of our life and your 5 ways are a perfect prescription for me. I am tucking them away and starting them tomorrow. I have fallen badly in this area of my life and I am ashamed. Thank you for your rawness. It is refreshing! It is renewing!

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