When shadows are swirling

Back in the spring of 2006, God put a strong call on my life.  I argued with Him (while crying, laughing and driving down a dangerous stretch of highway).  I told Him He definitely had the wrong girl.  But, God can be persistent (in case you didn’t know that).

Fast forward four and a half years and I somehow figure I should get out my measuring stick (so to speak)…see how far I’ve come towards that plan.

Of course, I do not measure up to my own expectations.

And then I start saying things like this “I should be farther along with {x, y, z}.  If I’m ever going to fulfill this burden on my heart I should at least be at point {j, k, l} by now” and “I knew I was unworthy of this call, God got this one wrong” and “I should be doing more to make this happen” and “what did I do wrong?”

I find myself re-reading Psalm 23.  And I learned something I did not know.  The valley of the shadow of death referred to in verse 4 translates from the Hebrew into the valley of swirling shadows.

Hmmm, swirling shadows.  Could this be shadows such as:

Shadows in the late afternoon.

Image via Wikipedia

a period or instance of gloom, unhappiness, mistrust, doubt, dissension, or the like, as in friendship or one’s life?

OR

a dominant or pervasive threat, influence, or atmosphere, esp. one causing gloom, fear, doubt, or the like? (definitions courtesy of dictionary.com)

Could it be that the enemy wants me to be surrounded by the swirling shadows of mistrust and doubt?

Could it be that God is leading me through the last three and a half years, not in abandonment of the vision He provided, but in preparation for it?

Is it not in the valleys of life that we stand to learn the most?

So, today I am thankful for the promise of Romans 8 (if you have time read the WHOLE chapter) especially, verses 15, 18-21, 28-31, 37-39.

Exactly what I needed to hear this morning:

For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship [or daughter-ship, in my case] and by Him we cry Abba, Father.  Romans 8:15

Oh, yes!  That is all I need to do- cry out to Him who is with me all the time. The One who is faithful to complete the good work in and through me for His glory (and in His timing).  God’s measuring stick does not compute accomplishment or human “doings”.  He cares far more that I am leaning on Him throughout the journey.

So, leaning on Him I am.

{edited and reposted from the archives as I spend time with my family}

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