{day 18} Why forgiveness is so hard


We serve a God of relationships, a God that values unity.

We are called to unity and the enemy is constantly seeking to destroy that in any way possible.

Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow.  I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him.  Another reason I wrote you was to see if you would stand the test and be obedient in everything. Anyone you forgive, I also forgive. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake,  in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes. ~ II Corinthians 2: 7-11

Forgiveness is hard because it requires us to surrender our hurt, our desire for justice or revenge, our legitimate anger to Jesus in order to present our hearts clean before Him.

Forgiveness has less to do with how we feel about a situation and what we think and more about how we choose to respond.

Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling.

Forgiveness is hard because there are people in our lives that we will have to continually forgive.  Those that repeatedly hurt us out of their own hurt.  Folks, forgiveness is not easy.  It is hard stuff.

But, we are forgiven.

Every bad, unacceptable, sinful thing I have ever done and ever will do was wiped clean with the redemptive blood of Jesus when He died on the cross for my sins.

We tend to forget He died for the sins of those that hurt us too.  If He did not withhold forgiveness from them, who am I to determine they are undeserving?

Forgiveness is hard because we are human and our flesh and our feelings get in the way.  We need to remember that God does not ask us to forgive for the benefit of the other person.  He demands that we forgive others so our relationship with Him is not compromised or affected by the dark, choking weed of unforgiveness.


Holding grudges and harboring unforgiveness will keep our hearts from being clean.

You can read about a grudge I held for most of my life until I let Jesus shine His light and give me His power to forgive.

Who do you need to forgive?

**this is day 18 of the 31 Days to a Clean Heart series.  You can click on the links below to catch up with the series:

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Day 4

Day 5

Day 6/Day 7

Day 8

Day 9

Day 10

Day 12

Day 17


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  1. Your posts are beautifully written and touching. Thank you.

    • Thank you!

      • Two people intnastly come to mind when I think forgiveness My husband and my step-dad. All through high school, my step-dad (who has now admitted to this, since finding Christ) did everything in his power to make my life harder. I was already struggling with depression and self-esteem issues because I had just started to really make friends when they decided to get married. We had to move to the other side of the country. I had an even harder time making friends in California. I didn’t agree with a lot of things my peers were doing, I was extremely shy and just packed on another shell to hide my true self when we moved, and on top of that, my step-dad refused to ever let me leave the house without the rest of the family. He has changed a lot, but in some ways he hasn’t. I still have some problems with him, although I’ve learned better, more mature ways to deal with these problems. I’ve forgiven him for a lot but I am definitely still a long way from the end of that journey. As for my husband, we have just had a LOT f ups and extreme downs. With both people I listed, there was a lot of emotional/psychological abuse as well as small amounts of physical abuse. That is something that I have always been afraid of and felt I would never be able to forgive someone for. I CAN’T forgive someone for it. However, I have given it to God and he can cleanse that from our lives and our minds. Things are not fully resolved, but we are working to eliminate these things and to forgive and leave the past in the past.

    • every relationship whitin my family life there has been a time I have had to work through horrible things that have been done to me or said to me. I have learned through Christ and by neccessity forgiveness is the only way you can heal and move forward in your life. It does’nt even matter if the other person knows you forgive them it does’nt matter if they care that you forgive them, but to your well being and your mental and spiritual life it means everything. I don’t know how God does it but if you really want to forgive someone and go one with your life God can and will do that with you. Not for you but with you!!

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