Ebb and Flow of Life

A Vekoma Boomerang roller coaster at Wild Adve...

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This has been one of those weeks that simulated a roller coaster for my emotions.  Up, down, upside down, shoot back up.

I’m not a roller coaster type of gal.  All of that can leave this mama exhausted in every way possible.

Our weekend was full.  Of learning, of fellowship, of family fun.

The speaker at the retreat we attended was speaking right to my heart and situation. How to hear God, how to really hear what He is saying to me and how He is saying it.  A verse shared that confirmed an exciting realization.

The enemy knows when change is taking place in my heart and attempted to thwart the momentum.  The attempt was momentarily successful but through journaling, tears and prayer I got back on track.

Then, as I already shared, Monday was a super special day for our family.

Life resumed it’s hectic pace with ministry, meetings and physical therapy.  Driving the mom taxi.  More personal attack.  Order Sweet Pea’s birthday cake.  Coffee with a friend.  Typing up information for grants. Texting with teen mama’s.  Planning an upcoming Bible study.  Hurtful backlash from Monday’s announcement.  The thrill of launching my first eBook Bible study.

The high of seeing this sweet baby eating her first birthday cake


Sweet Pea's 1st birthday

The wonder of 19 teen moms attending our first YoungLives club of the school year last night.  The laughter, the games, the hugs {those girls have no idea how privileged they should feel to get to hug me, the non-huggingist woman on the planet}..it was a good-in-an-exhausting-kind-of-way, laugh-till-you-pee-your-pants type of night.


Then there is the discomfort of my past colliding with the present before I feel ready or prepared. And, I can’t say much more than that right now.

Another day of physical therapy {I’m making progress, y’all}, meetings, squeezing in a much needed eyebrow wax and preparing for Sweet Pea’s princess themed birthday bash tomorrow.

I am feeling empty.  Sucked dry like parched ground waiting for rain.

Where are You, God?  I was getting ready to wave my finger in His Almighty face because He felt further and further away as the week progressed.  And, He reminded me, through an image of a toddler climbing up their Daddy’s pant leg, that He was right there.  I was the one that was ebbing away.

I just needed to be willing to scale anything to get to Him.  To not let the distractions of life distract me from Him.  To not let hurt and disappointment keep me away.  To not let good things hold me back from the Best thing.

Living Water flows when we abide in Him.

Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers,  but whose delight is in the law of the LORD, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither— whatever they do prospers.  Not so the wicked! They are like chaff that the wind blows away.  Psalm 1: 1-4

This weekend, I am stepping away from the ebb and flow, from the distractions of this crazy life and delighting myself in time with my Lord, every chance I can make. I am cutting through the clutter in my heart, mind and circumstance.

It is just what this weary mama’s heart and soul needs.

Do you need time with your Lord?

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