The bitter and the sweet

 

Mother’s Day is bittersweet for me.

The bitter comes from the past, bleeding through to the present.  The delicate relationship with my own mother, the splinters of expectation  always make the day harder than it should be.

I avoid the card aisle.  There are plenty of words, heart-felt and good, that I want to share with my mom but none of them are expressed in the flowery language of the traditional greeting card.

{Can someone create a line of greeting cards for the dysfunctional families? For those of us that didn’t live with mom our entire childhood?  for those whose needs their mom was not equipped to meet? For those of us that love our moms with a ferocious love, nonetheless, that few understand? One could make a fortune, I tell you.}

A phone call confirms that I will not get what I feel I need.

I do what I know I am called to do.  I love.  Unabashedly and without request of anything in return.  The good memories peppered in with the painful make a way for love to remain planted.

I say “it’s okay” and I mean it.

I have all that I need since I found the One that truly meets needs and fills holes in hearts and patches little girl hurts.

He is the same One that has allowed me to experience the sweet of Mother’s Day.

With God all things have been possible.

Turning my back on generational sin, drawing a line in the sand for my children, setting the ancient boundary stone back where it belongs was only possible through His strength and healing power.

I relish the moments of love expressed through cards, meals and words from the mouths of those I mother.  I relinquish the bitter of the day to my God and rejoice in the sweet.

And, the counting of gifts continues…

~  Miss S. trying on her cap and gown

~  ordering Jason’s senior pictures

~  a mani/pedi with matching pink polish

~  good interim reports for all my kids

~  a new camera, fresh with motivation to capture every moment

~  Key Lime pie

~  new laptop to replace the “fried” one

~  day of shopping with Miss S.

~  successful fundraiser for YoungLives

~  hubby that loves me just as I am, the bitter and the sweet

What are you thankful for?

 

 

 

Comments

  1. Thank you Melissa for sharing this! I loved how you wrote ”
    Can someone create a line of greeting cards for the dysfunctional
    families? For those of us that didn’t live with mom our entire
    childhood? for those whose needs their mom was not equipped to meet?” I appreciate you! Thank you for sharing your story in the about section. Happy Mother’s Day Melissa!

  2. Hugs to you, dear friend. May the difficulties of your past only leave the experience of healing in your heart. Thanks for your words on WhimsySmitten. Hope today is a beautiful day.

  3. Jdhanna92 says:

    Wow this really hit me hard. I never had my real mother and i was given one with conditional love. I want to be the best to my child possible. thanks for posting this.

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