Can you hear Me now?

There have been several times in recent years that I have been forced to rest.  When God has allowed circumstances to stop me in my tracks.

As I type this from my bed, unable to walk or drive due to a fall {that resulted in a nasty, as yet to be determined completely, knee injury} I realize…

I still haven’t gotten it.

My Type A, fix-what-is-broken, unable-to-set-boundaries self is broken again. The outside taking the hit for the battle that wages inside.

I have time {lots and lots of it} to read through my old prayer journals and realize how truly thick headed I am.  Each time I have been in this place before, I have purposed that I wouldn’t need to be here again.  That I got it.

That I got the need for rest.

The need for balance.

The need to pursue that which God wants me to rather than every good thing that comes my way..the good versus God.

The need to recognize that “no” is a complete sentence.

Life created an “I can do it myself” mentality deep in me that is darn near impossible to shake.  It was a coping mechanism for a young girl being bruised and betrayed by the world.  It is not as useful to the grown-up, learn(ing) to rely on Jesus version of me.

I am drawn, yet again, to my life chapter Isaiah 58.

If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath and from doing as you please on my holy day, if you call the Sabbath a delight and the Lord’s day honorable, and if you honor it by not going your own way and not doing as you please or speaking idle words, then you will find your joy in the Lord and I will cause you to ride on the heights of the land and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob. ~Isaiah 58: 13-14 (NIV) emphasis mine

Can  I be completely honest?  I know the value of a Sabbath, I even blog about it.  But, my head knowledge doesn’t always make it to my heart.  Something happens and I rationalize why problem A is more important than rest.  Why problem C can only be solved by me.  Why problem Z requires immediate attention.

The part I leave out is inquiring of God EVERY time an issue crosses my path.

Not assuming that because the problem is in my path He has ordained me to solve it.

Not assuming that I have all the answers.

Not assuming that He will provide me with energy He didn’t ask me to spend.

Not assuming that I can just push through this one more thing and then time for rest will magically appear.

I have to make time.  I have to honor His way and observe Sabbath, whether it is a whole day or moments here and there.  Sabbath is necessary.  He created us to need down time and quiet time and rest.

So, I am here.  Again.  Praying that this time I let God be all that I need.  That I take time out to be still when I don’t have to.  That I let God heal the parts of me that compulsively need to go, go, go and do, do, do rather than just be.

For some reason, this is a hard lesson for me.  I want to get it.  I really do.

 

 

Comments

  1. Heather@BlessingsPourOut says:

    I so understand what you are saying.

    I hope you heal well, at just the right time. May the Lord use your time of physical healing to help you spiritually, too. I’ve been there (and am still learning). Rest.

    Blessings,

    Heather

  2. Nothing like a physcial injury to catch our attention that we need to rest or slow down or take it easy. Two years ago, I had a bike crash — and didn’t know for three days that I had three broken ribs, a fractured fourth rib and a partially collapsed lung. Yep, it got my attention.

    Good post.

  3. “No is a complete sentence.” Yeah . . . I thought I had that one down, but it has become apparent it’s a lesson I need to relearn. May you get this one figured out this time.

  4. I can so relate to what you are saying here.

  5. Thank you for your transparency! So many of us struggle with this and can relate! Praying you heal and have peace in knowing God has it all under control. Love you and God does too!
    P.S. I love seeing you blogging more and reading your insight!

  6. “No” is a complete sentence. This made me smile because it is SO true. And yes, making the way from head to heart is where the rubber meets the road. Thanks for keeping the light on for me on this post, Melissa… so many wonderful thoughts… most of all, it’s fresh with faith for the jam.

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