When “it” hurts

Blogging has been scarce lately but I am slowly getting back in the swing of things, including joining in for Wifey Wednesday posts about marriage.  You can search for other marriage posts I have written by typing Wifey Wednesday or marriage in the search box in the right hand corner of your screen.

This week’s topic is one I am unfortunately familiar with-  Having an active sex life with my spouse and a chronic illness.

This is soooo not easy.

Photo credit

As most of you know I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in January 2008 and systemic lupus in October 2009.  My health is a roller coaster and even on my “good” days I am exhausted and hurting by bedtime.

Thankfully, I have a patient and understanding {and just all around awesome} hubby.  But, sex is still crucial to the health of a marriage.  So crucial that I am willing to write about it on my blog and share things that have worked for me.

When I was first diagnosed with MS, I was bedridden and couldn’t see out of my left eye.  Not exactly oozing sex appeal.  Staying away from intimacy though affected me as much as it did my hubby, although in different ways.  I needed the assurance that I was still desirable and he needed the closeness that sex provides.

Since that time we talk a lot more about our sex life.  We are intentional about making time for it.  We are aware of the value of cuddling and expressing physical love to each other even when the sexual act is not possible because of my health issues. And, most importantly, I pray about my sex life.

I ask God to provide me with energy, with libido, with desire for my hubby on those days {that can turn into weeks and months if we are not intentional} that I feel I can’t muster it.  And, friends, God is faithful to bless the physical component of your marriage.  He created it, after all.

He hasn’t failed me yet.

The relationship I have with my husband is just as special to God as it is to me.  He designed Mike to be my life companion, knowing as only God can, that I would have physical ailments.  He is bigger than all of my limitations and fatigue.

And for that I am thankful!

This post is linked to Wifey Wednesdays, (In)courage and Faith Barista’s Faith Jam.


  1. Wow. Melissa! You are totally awesome! What an amazing post to bless us with. Thank you for sharing this gem from your marriage and from your life. So happy to meet you & hear a bit of your story – thanks for jamming! Blessings!

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