Desires of the heart

Take delight in the LORD,
and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

I used to read this verse in a much different way than I do now.  I used to think that the more I read my Bible, the more that I memorized Scripture, the more I prayed, the more likely it would be that God would give me what I wanted, the desires of my heart.

For years {and I do mean years} I begged, prayed and cried for God to give me a daughter.  From the time I was a little girl, I had imagined myself as the mother of an adopted daughter. China was the country on my heart since I was 10 years old.  I knew what her name would be since I was 15.

That was a good desire, right?  For years I did not understand why God would deny me the privilege of parenting a little chubby cheeked girl from China. {yes, I viewed it as God denying me and He is well aware I felt that way}

Then, after this experience in 2008, my understanding of God changed.  And so did my desires, my deepest longings, my heart cry.

I stopped asking for a daughter.  I started asking for God’s will, whatever it was.

About a year and a half later {May 2010}, Mike and I almost adopted a little boy who was going through a disrupted adoption.  He was originally from Ethiopia and I was prepared to be his mama.

I was heartbroken when that fell through.  My prayer journal is full of “what am I supposed to learn from this” and “why??”s.

Right around that same time, my role in a local ministry to teen moms escalated.  We grew from serving 2 girls to 10 {and now 40+}.

And in August 2010, Miss S. needed a place to live.  And a mama.

I didn’t put all of this together until the other night.  We were snow tubing at a local ski resort with 14 of the girls we serve in YoungLives.  My husband laughed and said “Did you ever think God would give you all of these daughters?”

His comment echoed in my mind when I finally crawled in to bed that night.

If we had a little girl from China or if the adoption last summer had gone through, I would have received the desires of MY heart.

But, I would have missed out on the unfathomable joy and fulfillment that comes from aligning my desires with the desire of God for MY heart. We wouldn’t have had the room for Miss S. and Sweet Pea to move into our hearts and lives.  I wouldn’t have the time to give to all the other girls that need my love and attention right now.

Psalm 37:4 means something completely different to me now and I like this explanation much better!

and my counting of gifts continues…

{#141-150}

~brownies with chocolate chips and walnuts

~warm, breezy days in February

~the wind in the trees reminding me of Who created all that is

~Yankee Candle air fresheners for the car

~each and every opportunity I have to serve my Jesus

~moving the laptop to the desk, decreasing the temptation to be on it and increasing the time I spend with my precious family

~good interim reports for 3 out of 4 children

~praising God for modern day medicine

~the sight of my children taking fervent notes at a Wednesday night church service

~seeing my husband also taking fervent notes at a Wednesday night church service

God is good all the time!

What are you thankful for?

Trackbacks

  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Melissa Smallwood, Brittany Crawford. Brittany Crawford said: RT @multitaskingme: Are the desires of your heart aligned with God's desires for your life?… http://fb.me/WEE4l4Cq […]

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