Power in Weakness

**taking a break from Teen/Tween Thursday to get my Radical post up and just share my heart today**

***this post may ramble.  I have been trying to process my thoughts and they are just not coming in an articulate fashion, no matter how hard I try***

I have always prided myself in being a self sufficient gal.  Life taught me early on that there was no one to depend on but myself and that placing trust in anyone or anything would just result in disappointment and hurt.  I was always applauded and praised for my independent streak and accomplishments. 

When I found Jesus, it took me a loooong time to understand that He would never reject me, disappoint me, or let me down.  I don’t know that even after all he has done for me I still completely grasp His unconditional (agape) love for me.  And, then I am reminded through this chapter that “in direct contradiction to the American dream, God actually delights in exalting our inability” (Radical, pg 47).

I need to be completely dependent on God, and I am not.  Plain and simple.  I don’t want to relinquish some of my worries, thinking that I can do a better job with them than my Creator.  It sickens me to type that but it is true.

 

 

So, the question in this third chapter of Radical is “whether we trust in His power” (Radical, pg 45).  My initial reaction was “of course I do.  God has proven Himself to me over and over and over”.  However, He has shown me, in glaring reality and stark contrast to what I thought, the areas where I hold back from Him and rely on my strength.

Do you realize how arrogant it is to think that I have all the answers in any given situation? 

If there is any life situation that proves that I don’t have all the answers, nor can I change things just in my own strength, it is parenting teenagers.  Especially broken teenagers who haven’t let Jesus heal their hearts yet.  Jason has hit a rough patch and Miss S. has experienced so much uncertainty and rejection in her short life it is hard for her to accept unconditional love from our family {though she desperately wants to}.

Then I am reminded that I am trying to love them {and fix them, which is not my job} in my own power.  And, this chapter of Radical reminds me that “the challenge for us is to live in such a way that we are radically dependent on and desperate for the power that ONLY God can provide” (Radical, pg 45)

My prayer this week, in working through this chapter, is that God will make more of Himself in my life and less, less, less of me.  That God will pierce my heart every time I try to take a matter into my own hands.  That He will remind me that when I release my own {pathetically limited} power, I block His.  Lord, help me to stop trying so hard and just let You reign in every situation in my life. ~Amen.

This post is linked to the Radical Read Along here.

Comments

  1. How easily we go through our days without thinking twice about doing things our way! I echo your prayer this week in my own life. I want to be conscious about doing things HIS way!

  2. A beautiful prayer, Melissa and one that He is sure to answer! This letting go and letting God is so hard for us moms, isn’t it???

  3. It sure is!

  4. Beautiful explanation of Christian parenting! I struggle with the same issues, and mine is only 18 months right now!

  5. Enjoy, enjoy those precious toddler moments!

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