How long must I wait?

I am battling an anxious heart.

Not over anything major or even specific.

But an unsettled, on-my-way-to-where-I’m-supposed-to-be type of place.

Yet, I don’t even know where I’m supposed to be.

I think I do.  My hubby and I disagree about the route to take.

And, I ask.  How long, God?  How long before you give me the answers to these {important to me} questions.  A glance at the road map, perhaps?  A hint at the mode of transportation you want us to use?  A sliver of the plan you have in mind?

And, God asks.  How long, Melissa?  How long before you humble yourself before me? {Exodus 10:3} How long before you surrender to whatever it is that lies ahead?  How long before you stop needing to know the answers and are content to trust me…how long?

I hold the key to my own captivity. 

He stands at the door and knocks.  I’m the one that wants the itinerary before opening the door. 

Today, I am opening the door anyway.  Resting in the promise of Nahum 1:7

The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble.  He cares for those who trust in Him.

Help me trust, God.  Help me delight in the wait.  Help me delight in the not knowing.  Help me delight in You.

 

holy experience

Comments

  1. Beautiful. Thank you.

  2. Melissa, you and I have so much in common. I was raised to be organized and completely know what the day held in store before ever getting out of bed in the morning. I married a man who was raised to do things spontaneously in life. S. L. O. W. L. Y. over the 38 years of our marriage I've learned that it is okay to not know EVERY thing …in fact, it isn't a very realistic way to try to live. I'm coming to realize also over the years that my physical makeup with things like that are also reflected and carried over into my relationship with Abba. I can SO relate to “He stands at the door and knocks. I'm the one that wants the itinerary before opening the door.”…that fits me so perfectly and yet I'm now wondering just how much sooner His answers would come if I were to just simply trust Him from the very beginning. Thank you for the thought provoking post, Melissa.

  3. You are not alone! I struggle with this too. Sometimes it's a moment by moment choice; to trust or worry. When I write that down, I realize how silly. Of course, my desire is to trust.

    Blessings and love,
    Debbie

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