Giving kids their space

“Leave me alone”

“I need to get out of here”

“I can’t stand being here with you”

These are all things that I hear on a regular basis in a house full of testosterone teen boys. 

Now don’t get me wrong, my boys are usually respectful and obedient children.  But, lately, they seem to really need their own space.  Especially when they are angry, hurt or need to think.

So, how do you handle it when your kids don’t want to be around you?  My nature as a mama is to want to hug them, talk it out and make everything better.

My nature needs to take a back seat to their needs. 

Aside from the fact that hormones and chemicals in their brain are surging at an all time high, making it hard for them to control their emotions, they are also dealing with a natural desire to handle things on their own.

It is so hard for me to give them time and space.  But, when I do the results are worth it.

If I let them have 45 minutes or so to cool down on the basketball court or reading in their room, they can actually come to me and tell me what they did wrong, why it was wrong, why they were upset, what they could have done differently, etc.  However, if I force them to talk about an issue when they are frustrated or upset, the hormonal fireworks in their brain are going to keep them from hearing ANYTHING I say.

So, I am learning to take a deep breath, suggest a time out for all of us and come back to discuss the situation when we have all cooled down.

I know sometimes I need my space and I’m learning to give my boys their space too!

Do you have a teen/tween parenting post?  Link it up below:

Comments

  1. Great post! It is really improtant that we give our tweens and teens their space when needed. I think it shows them that we totally respect their feelings and that we trust them to be able to come to us when they are ready, Great Job mom!!

  2. Thanks for sharing. I was listening to the children day before yesturday when I heard my son getting upset with his sisters. I was just about to step in when I heard him tell the girls to get out of his room, that he needed his space. I am so proud of him for sending them out instead of getting angry.

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  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Melissa Smallwood and Melissa Smallwood, Mandy Roberson. Mandy Roberson said: RT @multitaskingme: Do you give your teens space? http://bit.ly/cMKOVp […]

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