Think on these things

As our children get older, it is important to place decision making in their hands more and more.  Where better for them to make mistakes or missteps then under the umbrella of our authority and guidance?

While it is easier said than done for this mama to relinquish control (hello?  I am a recovering Type A) it is imperative for their growth so I am committed to doing so.  An opportunity to do so presented itself this week and it developed into a great learning opportunity for both of my boys.

Picture two teen/tween boys standing at the Blockbuster Express kiosk, being allowed to rent any movie they want on their day off school.  They chose a movie that was, to me, going to have questionable content.  They even gave me those sideways glances to make sure I was aware that they were renting *that* movie.  I said a silent prayer and swiped my debit card.

After popcorn was popped and the movie was on for about ten minutes, Jared fast forwarded (I have no idea if that is a word) through an inappropriate scene.  Matt got mad and said “why are you skipping stuff?”.  Jared responded, “I can’t watch that with mom sitting next to us”.

Inwardly I was grinning but I said not a word (do you know how hard that was?).  Matt nodded in understanding and they went on with the movie.  Within three minutes, Jared said “Matt, I don’t think we made a good choice with this movie.  Do you want to go play basketball?”  AND THEY TURNED IT OFF AND ASKED ME TO RETURN IT.  Later that day, they told their dad about it (they genuinely felt remorse) and offered to pay for the rental since “mom wasted her money”.

Can I just tell you my heart soared?  Was it soaring when they chose that movie?  Heck no.  I was thinking “why did I choose today to let them pick any movie?  I knew this wasn’t a good idea”.  But, I trusted the prompting of the Spirit and let them choose their way.

Now, do I think that every time they have the opportunity to  make a choice they are going to make a good one?  No.  I don’t have stupid stamped on my forehead.  But, I do feel much more comfortable in this parenting approach.

Later that night, during our family time, I read the boys Philippians 4:8.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things. 

 I told them that with their decision to turn the movie off and go do something else they had put that verse into practice.  And that is what God’s Word is all about- guiding us through decision making in life with God’s will not ours.

If you have a post about teens/tweens please feel free to link up with us.  You are not alone on this parenting journey!


  1. musingsofahousewife says:

    That is awesome. Gotta say, I'm not sure I would have been able to let them pick that movie. But clearly you are doing something right. Thanks for the encouragement!

  2. blueviolet says:

    I think it's so great that you didn't say anything when they chose it. They learned a lesson on their own. I'm not so sure it would have sunk in the same way if you had banned that movie. Great, Mom!

    • thanks! It was hard but at almost 14 and 12 I figure that is the way they
      need to learn lessons…only a few more years before I'm not around all the
      time =(

  3. Wahoo!! I love watching them grow and make good strong TOUGH decisions. And yes, not watching a movie is a tough decision! Good job Mom!

  4. That was awesome! I am glad that it turned out well. It can be hard to know just how much decision-making to put in their hands but when we are guided by the Holy Spirit, we can't go wrong!

  5. kristen_momssharpeningmoms says:

    You have BRILLIANT stamped on your forhead,girl! You handled this situation beautifully…and boy, it must have been hard! I will file this one away and pray my children will make the same wise decision!


  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Melissa Smallwood. Melissa Smallwood said: Parenting teens/tweens is tough! Link up your post as we talk about it on Teen/Tween Thursday. […]

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