Living Sacrifices in Marriage

Today, Sheila did a wonderful job today exposing some of the misconceptions about men and women common in today’s society.  I encourage you to take a moment and read her thoughts.

Her writing prompted me to think about how gender roles have affected my mindset and my marriage.

First things first- I am a girly girl.  Always have been. 

I do not like to get my hands dirty, I am scared to death of bugs and snakes, I am certainly not a daredevil and nothing makes me smile quite like chocolate and a pedicure.

 I like pink and purple, things that are monogrammed, candles, perfume and shoes…I really like shoes.  I’ve been told I have been this way since infancy.

I also like football and riding on the back of my hubby’s Harley.

That is how God made me. 

The world would like to see me exchange my femininity for equality.  Don’t get me wrong, I believe that we (men and women) are equal in the eyes of the One that matters.  But I am pretty sure that God didn’t make a mistake when he made me a woman.

And God gave me a man…a dark haired, solid, masculine husband.  And even though I am very much a woman I still took that man, the man God made for me, and for far too long emasculated him with my words, my actions and my attitude.

Life experiences and hurt had caused me to want to strike out before I could be hurt, to resist being vulnerable, to make daggone sure I was not being controlled.

And the world makes that type of behavior easy for us.  Pick up any mainstream magazine today and you will find articles about how to make your spouse what you think they should be. 

God changed my heart on this through healing the wounds of my past and showing me His design for marriage.  And this verse from Romans helps me when I am tempted to resort back to those coping mechanisms and worldly views of marriage:

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then will be able to test and approve what God’s will is- His good, pleasing and perfect will.  Romans 12:2

When we are trying to figure out how to treat our spouse, how to define our role as a wife, how to *gasp* submit, we need simply to allow our minds to be renewed by the power of the Holy Spirit and we will know what is good, pleasing and perfect.  His will for our marriage.

I don’t know about you but I want my marriage to be defined by my Maker, not society.


  1. Oh Melissa, this is an excellent post. So often I too have emasculated my husband with my words and attitude. Thank you for sharing.

  2. I often find that so often we marry our men because they're men, but then we're mad because they don't act more like women! So strange! Let's remember they're men, and that's okay!

    That's awesome, Melissa! Thanks for linking up to Wifey Wednesday!

  3. You have written a great post! I love it! God is good, and He's blessed my marriage bigtime!

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