Technology and Marriage- a match made in?

wifeywednesday-1I haven’t participated in Wifey Wednesday, hosted by To Love, Honor and Vacuum in quite a while.  But when I read Sheila’s topic for the day I knew God was sending me a message.

I have many friends (in real life) who complain about the amount of time their hubby’s sit in front of the TV, surf the ‘net or engage in gaming (online or video games)

I can’t relate to their issue…but boy, can my husband!

About a year and a half ago, I stumbled across a blog and the rest is history.  I am hooked.  I love blogging.  I love writing.  I love reading other’s posts and connecting with other fabulous women through the internet.

That is not a bad thing.

It becomes a problem when I allow the computer to become an idol in my life.  When I allow Twitter or Facebook updates to become more important than my marriage.  When I say “just give me a minute” as my children clamor for my attention.  That type of behavior is a bad thing.

All the enemy needs in our life is a foothold.  Yes, I feel called by God to engage in the activities on the ‘net that I do (with the exception of Bejeweled😉 ).  However, I have felt convicted since last fall that I was sending a (albeit unintended) message to my family that they are not priorities in my life by needing to look up from my laptop to give them my attention.

So, I did something about it.

I prayed and asked God what I needed to relinquish (some writing commitments, a radio show and a website), what I needed to cut back on (twitter, facebook, time spend blog surfing) and I set a schedule.  This new way of doing things has worked for me since the fall.  As a matter of fact, I have been blessed with several new opportunities that fall within that schedule!  Go God!!

When the internet is a source of income Starbucks money there is a certain amount of time networking, maintaining relationships and actually working that needs to be done.  It is a lie of the enemy that you can do that without a plan and not negatively impact your family.

I set hours for my computer use.  I don’t have the computer on after the kids and hubby get home unless they are otherwise occupied.  I take Sunday’s off from posting.  I plan posts ahead of time (this was hard for me, as I like to write as the mood strikes but I got used to it).  I have said no to opportunities that require me to be online in the evening.

It is possible to juggle (notice, I did not say balance) this unique world of blogging, internet marketing and social media.

Do you agree?  Do you struggle with this?  How do you handle this special juggling act?

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  1. Melissa, I think most bloggers struggle with this. Just like you, I’ve set a schedule of when I have my laptop open and am vigoursly working. When 3:00 comes around it’s all put away. Kids arrive home from school, Hubby arrives home from work (sometimes he is on shift work),and my time is needed with them.

    During the day, my toddler and I engage in activities together, however, I wake HOURS before him to get a jumpstart on work. He enjoys having his playdoh or crayons out next to me at the kitchen table as I write.

    I made a commitment 2 years ago that when my child or husband come to me, my fingers are to come off of the keyboard or mouse, my eyes and body immediately turn to them. They MUST know they will always have my full attention, even if it’s just asking for a snack.

    Marriage is hard. My husband started online gaming, so we like to joke that our shoulder time consists of placeing our laptops next to eachother on the bar, grabbing a cup of coffee, and flirting via IM. It works perfectly. He understands how it can “suck you in” so we make time for other activities, but we enjoy our online time and we make sure to do it together.

    ((WAY TOO LONG of a comment, so sorry for the novel))

  2. I know of what you speak … and am working on figuring out my plan to deal with it. The first thing I am implementing is disconnecting my internet when I’m actually writing. I find myself checking twitter or FB or my reader … and NOT writing. So, I am shutting the wireless off for at least one hour a day so I can WRITE … uninterrupted, focused time. I also allow myself “tweet breaks” but I set a timer … 15 minutes. That’s it. And last night, I determined that I was going to bed at 10 pm and whatever wasn’t done would wait. And guess what? IT DID! My unfinished blog post was waiting, just as a left it, when I got up this morning. Baby steps for me … but moving in the right direction.

  3. I am really struggling with this lately. Getting off the computer when the kids and hub are home in the late afternoons/early evenings is something I’m trying to do. BUT IT IS HARD. I keep getting sucked back in. But I am working on it. I think you and I are a lot alike. I don’t really like to schedule myself, and I prefer to write as the mood strikes. My posts are often time sensitive, in that they often refer to current events in my life, and if I wait a few days to post, they seem irrelevant. But again, I am trying. Thanks for letting me know that I’m not alone!

  4. I can agree with this completely. I love writing, I love blogging and I feel called to do so. But if I’m not careful, the internet gets a hold of my time and nothing else does. I try to schedule posts ahead of time as well, and I turn the computer off when my husband gets home. I usually do most of my blogging when my son is down for his nap-picking and choosing which posts are most interesting at the moment to read, and then catching up the others when I get a chance. Thanks for sharing 🙂

    Happy Wednesday!


  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Rosalind Joffe , Melissa Smallwood and Momma Findings, Amanda Padgett. Amanda Padgett said: Goid post! RT @multitaskingme: The internet and my marriage […]

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