Wifey Wednesday- Two become One

Great topic over at To Love, Honor and Vacuum’s meme today.

I am happy to report that I do feel “one” with my hubby more often than not these days. However, while I agree with the biblical view that we become one when we are joined in marriage, I also agree with Sheila that it can take us a while to feel that oneness. That was certainly the case with Mike and I.

Getting married, adjusting to new roles, learning about each other, learning to set aside selfishness (which I don’t think any of us fully learn because we are human) and put the other’s needs first- all of that takes time. Having God as a partner in your marriage certainly makes this process possible and achievable but it still requires effort and surrender on the part of both parties.

Mike and I are much more one, in a lot of ways, simply because we know each other so much better than when we were first married. In addition, we have developed a trust and comfort level that isn’t automatically present (especially when couples haven’t seen healthy marriage modeled growing up). And, the struggles that we have faced during our marriage have brought us closer together. We have had to learn how to work as a team, rely on the other during our times of weakness, be vulnerable and be honest. All of those things naturally draw you closer together.

It also helps that we will be thinking the same thing at the same time, finish each other’s sentences and laugh at the same jokes. Those looks between the two of you that only the two of you can interpret. Feeling like a part of you is missing if you spend too much time away from your spouse. Wanting to call your spouse the minute you have any kind of news to share. Those are the ways that I feel “oneness with Mike.

How about you? Do you feel that unity with your spouse?


  1. Great post, Melissa. This is a topic close to my heart so I might chime in on it later today.

    Certainly after all these years together, Rich and I — mostly — “get” each other and have figured out — again mostly (haha) — how to work together in our marriage, our parenting, etc. and complement one another.

    I’m wondering — if it isn’t too personal — do you feel that the issues with your chronic illness have made you two closer? I do feel like that with Rich and me. Not only were there the issues of taking care of his physical health but also in working together to minimize the impact on our kids’ childhoods as much as we could…

    Curious to hear your thoughts if you wouldn’t mind sharing.

  2. Awesome post. I’ve linked up and participated for the first time…hope to do so again in the future! I enjoy learning from women like you and Sheila. Thanks for posting so I could read!

  3. Melissa, Multi-Tasking Mama says:

    You know me, Shelby- nothing is too personal (almost)LOL. It has only been a year and a half since my diagnosis and for the first year, it didn’t really bring us closer together. I felt like Mike was nagging me and babying me, so for a while I felt less close to him. And, I was trying to be Miss Independent, and we all know how well that worked out 🙂

    Since my hospitalization last September I have had such appreciation for my hubby and it has brought us closer. I still work on not feeling guilty that I am not the “wife” I was when I was healthy- but i am getting there. It is much more of my issue than his.

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