Wifey Wednesday- Becoming the Right Spouse

I always enjoy participating in Wifey Wednesday, hosted by Sheila at To Love, Honor and Vacuum but today’s topic really hit home with me. Sheila says that when we focus on our differences from our spouse we tend to feel they might not have been the “right” one. But, when we focus on becoming the “right” type of spouse ourselves, our marriages benefit in spades.

I couldn’t agree more. For those that know us in real life, my hubby and I probably couldn’t be MORE different! He is an introvert, I’m not. He is quiet and reserved, I speak my mind. He is laid back, I tend to be a tad uptight. Our parenting styles are different, we grew up with different backgrounds, we have different ideas about handling money and the list could go on and on and on.

Early in our marriage those differences were very pronounced as we navigated our way through learning to live with each other, parent a new baby, etc. After a while (meaning after marriage counseling and accepting Christ) we realized we were approachin it all wrong. Yes, we are different but it is those differences that attracted us to the other in the first place. I was attracted to Mike’s stable and loyal nature. He was attracted to my ability to be decisive. But, we had allowed those very things to become what annoyed us about the other. I thought he was boring and predictable and he thought I was head strong and impulsive.

What we have learned in the last twelve years of marriage is that our differences complement our relationship if we allow them too. We would be in a sorry financial state if I was the only one with input and we would have no social life at all if left up to the hubby. Our differences balance each other out and make a complete relationship- huh? Maybe God knew what he was doing with that whole “and two shall become one” thing?


  1. I think this is a message that can go to almost anything in life. If you focus on the negatives, or the differences you for get to see the positives and the similarities. If you focus on what your husband is not, or what he doesn’t do then you can miss out on the wonderful things he does…and that’s what marriage is about. Appreciating eachother and sharing your life. Thanks for the post!


  2. Secret Mom Thoughts says:

    Well said.

  3. Laurie Ann says:

    I’m glad ya’ll compliment each other. Steve and I are different, too. Oh, we would be broke if I handled the finances. All books and no food or electricity, LOL! I’m a morning person, he’s a night owl. But because we love each other it works for us. We’ve almost made it to the 18 year mark. I pray there are many more to come.

  4. He And Me + 3 says:

    Sounds like mine and my husband’s relationship too. well written.

  5. That’s a glass-half-full attitude.

    http://somethingaboutparenting.typepad.comTwitter: AboutParenting

  6. Michaela says:

    What a great post and a good way to look at things – focus on the positive and not negative.

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