Life Lessons


My kids are learning tough lessons by watching their grandmother go through a separation from her husband (whom they consider their “granddaddy”). The statistics regarding marriage in this country are plain sad- the United States has more divorce per capita than any other Western nation (divorcemag.com). I guess that means Jared and Matt shouldn’t be surprised that it is hitting this close to home. But, after watching them this weekend I realize that change like this shakes the foundation of their security and makes them question relationships, people, motives and their biggest fear- will this happen to Mom and Dad?

We have spent time talking, crying and teaching this weekend about the effects and impact of divorce. The biblical view versus the world view of marriage and divorce. Reassurance that even though the grown-ups aren’t getting along right now, it doesn’t have to change anything with the kids. That kids don’t have to concern themselves with grown-up problems and no one expects them to take sides.

I am praying for the strength to resist the urge to be angry- angry that my mom chooses dysfunctional partners 100% of the time, angry that my stepdad let us down, angry that my kids have to see yet another grandparent screw up and angry that people just don’t take marriage seriously (a covenant that God created) anymore.

Yet my wise hubby reminds me that life happens. All we can do is respond prayerfully to what is going on around us. We can’t protect our kids from pain or the harsh reality of living in a fallen world. We can just point out the lessons and wipe their tears. Being a parent is not fun right now….

Comments

  1. Antonio NYC says:

    My parents divorced when I was 10 and it became final when I was 12. I watched and saw the whole process. My mom and dad were great because they gave me books to read and sat down with me and explained exactly what was happening and why.

    Here is a great resource when speaking with your kids about what is happening. I hope it helps:

    http://www.firstwivesworld.com/resource_directory/kids-family-and-divorce

  2. Anonymous says:

    So sorry your family is having to go through this painful process. Your anger is justified on all accounts. You know that God will give you the strength to deal with the issues at hand. I’ll pray for you and your family.

    Kathy Lang

  3. He And Me + 3 says:

    Sorry to hear that your family is going through such a rough time. Divorce hurts…so many…and it doesn’t just affect the 2 directly involved…it is a hard and sad thing. Praying that things work out and it gets better soon.

  4. Melissa, Multi-Tasking Mama says:

    Thanks to all of you for your kind words, resources and support!

  5. Sorry for the difficult situation you and your family are dealing with right now.

  6. Life does happen. I was divorced and it was hard but necessary. My husband is great and we have ben together forever now. Sometimes it is how things work out. Not because we set out for them like that or because we are failures, but it is a stepping stone in our lives. Hope that makes sense.
    I am sorry you have this pain in your lives now. It is so hard 🙁

  7. Alicia, The Snowflake says:

    I know exactly what you mean my friend. Choices have consequences that not only affect the 2 involved, but every around them. I pray that God will give you the strength and wisdom to do the right thing for you and your boys.

  8. stopping by from SITS. so sorry that you and your family are going through this right now…but it is awesome that you and your husband are able to be strong and set a good example for your children!!!
    let’s just hope that this makes everybody better people your parents included. we do learn from our mistakes and from others mistakes too. so talking about it with you children will help!!! i do believe that things happen for a reason…so we never know where the road of life is going next..just hold on and enjoy the ride!!!!!
    sorry to ramble on and on!!!!
    hang in there…everything will work out!!

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