Love Languages

Today is a fun topic at To Love, Honor and Vacuum– Do you know your hubby’s love language? Well, as a matter of fact I do. A few years into our marriage, my hubby and I did the Gary Chapman Bible Study about the five love languages.
My husband’s primary love language is time. His secondary is touch. (Pretty sure that is in the top two for all men LOL)

These are not either one of my love languages (words of affirmation/acts of service). You really have to train yourself to speak someone else’s love language when it is not your own. We are selfish by nature, so we default to speaking the love language by which we receive. Problem is we can be speaking that language fluently and our spouse doesn’t hear it at all because it is foreign to them.

So, long ago I started learning how to speak Mike’s love languages. I am still learning and remembering not to speak in my language. Time to Mike means something different than time to me. To me, sitting on the couch with him while he watches Rocky III and I blog is spending time with him. That doesn’t quite speak to him the way it does when I sit, curled up beside him, watching the (stupid) movie with him, like I am having the time of my life (while really I am yearning to Twitter).

Why is it worth it to do this you ask? Because it is that desire to put my hubby before myself, to love him like he loves me- unselfishly. When he gets out of bed to get me sweet tea because my mouth is dry from my meds (an act of service) he doesn’t grumble. We make the effort to speak the other’s language because the greatest commandment is to love and the most important relationship (outside of the relationship with our Creator) is with our spouse.

Do you know your loved one’s love language? Have you taken the time to become fluent?


  1. I bought this book a long, long time ago. I also bought the one for children!

    My husbands primary love language is touch, and then acts of service! And it’s weird because those two are not mine.

  2. Melissa, Multi-Tasking Mama says:

    It is strange how we seem to have different languages than our hubbies- seems to do alot with personality and unmet needs in childhood?

  3. He And Me + 3 says:

    Of course his is affection or touch, and mine is so not. I get touched and man handled by kids all day…the last thing I want to do is be touched all night. I am so bad aren’t I? I am really trying to do better, because it only changed once we had kids. Strange…

  4. Upstatemomof3 says:

    This is so true!! My Hubby does not feel like we are spending time while I blog either. But he doesn’t mind if he is sleeping. 🙂

  5. Melissa, Multi-Tasking Mama says:

    I know it can seem that our husband’s don’t understand like upstatemomof3 mentioned but again I think it is because we are speaking different languages. The book is really helpful, they even have one about kid’s love languages!

  6. What a great way to put it. I too, have the same thing with my husband, him wanting me to sit and cuddle with him while he watches some, dumb to me, action movie!

    Sometimes I really do think men and women are two seperate species.

  7. Laurie/Mobile Mommy says:

    What a lovely post! My husband and I know each other’s needs quite well, but it would be fascinating to dom something like you and your husband did to learn exactly what our love languages are. I’m glad I saw this post!

  8. I have discovered and learned much from your blog. Your blog is really good.

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