The answer is no, no, no, no, NO

***warning, if you are the parent of a baby, toddler, preschooler or elementary age child, this post may burst your bubble. Read at your own risk!***

Back when I was in the trenches of early motherhood- you know, the poop smearing, temper tantrum throwing, what is in your mouth?, don’t eat your boogers, sleep deprived, having to come up with answers to the never ending why (is the sky blue, milk white, do I have a penis?) questions days, I wistfully looked forward to the days when my kids could be more independent and I would be able to rationalize with them.

And I did get a reprieve for a couple years, first grade through fourth, those were the days. My kids still needed me (and didn’t fight that) but could brush their own teeth, wipe their own butt- life was good.

But then, the double digits occured. May I ask why no one warns of the Invasion of the Body Snatcher type metamorphasis that takes place when your little sweet boy turns 10? And, may I say for those of you who have not yet been warned- from what I can tell it’s all going down hill from here.

Here is what conversations sound like in our house lately:

12 yr old- Mom, can I go to the movies with Jen this weekend? (Jen being the 12 year old female he refers to as his girlfriend this week).

Mom- Are her parents going to be there?

12 yr old- (sighing disgustedly and rolling his eyes) uhh, No.

Mom- them, uhh, No.

12 yr old- Mom! (which sounds more like this muh-ha-wom)

Mom- an adult needs to be there. If her parents can’t go, your dad and I will go. We don’t have to sit in the same row but I’m not dropping my 12 year old off at the movie theater with a girl. Not going to happen.

12 yr old- You are so mean. (stomps off)

************************
Mom- Matt, you need to go take a shower.

11 yr old- Mom! (which sounds more like muh-ha-wom) I took one (hesitates, trying to remember the last time water and soap came in contact with his skin) last week.

Mom- go take a shower, I will be smelling your head for shampoo and arms for soap and if you don’t use them I will come in there and scrub you myself.

11 yr old- Ewww, you can’t give me a bath. (saying this with disdain, forgetting that I did just that not even three years ago)

Mom- then ya better go give yourself a good one. Don’t make me bathe you.

****************************

12 yr old- Why can’t I have a cell phone? Everybody else has one! My friends call me sheltered.

Mom- (secretly laughing inside that his friends call him sheltered. It’s not like we are Amish or something and avoiding the urge to turn into my mother and ask if he would jump off a bridge if all his frends were doing it) Your dad and I don’t think you need one. When are you ever somewhere where there is not an adult with a phone.

12 yr old- ahhh, uggg, (walks away muttering under his breath, “she just wants to ruin my social life)

*****************************

I miss the temper tantrums. Just so you know.

Comments

  1. MammaDucky says:

    Thanks. This post made me giggle. I actually can’t wait for that stage. Not sure why. Ask me again when I get there though.
    I’m absolutely with you on your parenting. None of this being with the opposite sex at such young ages or cellphones. Come on parents! Thanks for the laugh.

  2. Eeeek. I have girls, but from what I understand, they are worse than boys.

  3. LMAO…just wait. I have three boys ages 16, 14, and 14.

    I am glad to know I was not the only parent who suddenly became uncool by 5th grade!

    By 14, parents are a total and utter embarrassment and as a parent (I am to understand from my sons) I am not to be seen by others.

  4. PletcherFamily says:

    Ugh. Your post is exactly what I am afraid of. As much as my toddlers drive me crazy I love that they are sweet and adoring of me. Sigh. I don’t want that to end!

  5. He And Me + 3 says:

    Oh boy…can’t wait for those days. Only 7 more years for Stunt Man. lOL
    Thanks for the warning:)

  6. This is where I am, but for some reason, my kids still think I am pretty cool! Don’t ask me how or why or I would bottle the stuff!

    Yes, we have conversations about baths, making beds, complete with fitted sheets, but for the most part,I am adoring this new age. I used to fear it, but now that it is here, I am having a ball.

    Sorry if I sound so happy, and we do have boundaries, just in case you are thinking (my 12-year old does have a cellphone, though), but for some reason, they are turning out to be really good guys. People I might eventually want to “hang” out with when they are fully grown.

    Trust me, If I find out how I did this, I WILL write a book.

    Judi

    P.S. Love your blog! Just signed up for RSS.

  7. This Little Hen says:

    LOL I may only have a 11 month old, but I have an 11 year old nephew…. HE IS SO MUCH FUN! (can you sense the sarcasm) gald I stumbled on your blog tonight. God Bless.

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