Just keepin’ it real

(photo courtesy of photobucket.com)

So, yesterday was not my day. I have put on a happy face for the last week, waiting for them to figure out what is wrong with my back and leg so that my happy face can be genuine again. But, lo and behold, I am human and ran out of fake “happy” before the genuine happy showed up.

I FINALLY had the MRI that I was supposed to have on Thursday (long story, suffice it to say insurance companies are a pain in the rear, yet a necessary evil). Only catch was that I had to go through the ER, arriving at 4:00 for a “stand-by” appointment that surfaced at 7:50pm. I was cool with the wait, had brought a good book and was just thankful I was getting the MRI. My doctor was pretty convinced that I had a herniated or slipped disc from a fall two weeks ago so that was what my little ears were prepared to hear.

So, the kind (he really was) ER doc and his little minion (I mean med student) came to give me the results. Good news: you don’t have a disc problem so you won’t need surgery. Bad news: your pain is called radiculopathy and is caused by nerve damage from your MS. He told me I needed to talk to my MS specialist about more aggressive pain management because this may be permanent.

Okay, ahem, ‘scuse me- did you say permanent? I walk like Attila the Hun, act like the Wicked Witch of the East and you’re telling me this is the way it’s gonna be?

What came next is something that does not happen to me often- I cried and cried. I stomped my foot and told God exactly what I thought of this development. I yelled at my husband when he tried to comfort me. I snapped at my mom when she tried to look at the bright side by yelling “I am entitled to this breakdown. I will be back to the regular Melissa tomorrow”.

Nothing can bring you back to reality like a good laugh, though. So in the midst of my self centered pity party, my inquisitive son, Matt, wanted to know what radiculopathy was. I explained that it is irritation of a nerve that can be caused by many things including herniated discs but mine is caused by nerve damage.

And he said (very seriously) “Mama, I’m sorry you have another thing wrong with you. Especially this ridiculous radiculopathy”.

Okay, so maybe you needed to be there but the fact that ridiculous and radiculopathy sound so much alike made him smile (his cute little smile where his dimples show and his eyebrows go up) which made me smile, which made us both dissolve into a fit of the giggles. Those were some painful giggles but well worth it and I feel much better.

No ridiculous radiculopathy is going to keep this multi-tasking mama down in the dumps!


  1. Oh Boy...Oh Boy...Oh Boy says:

    I’m so sorry to hear that there isn’t an end in site but home that the specialist can help you manage it.
    I think you were entitled to your cry. And also to let God know how you felt about it. Even Jesus cried out to him. Because we have faith doesn’t mean everything is easy or that we just suck it up and can be hapy all the time. We are allowed to be upset. I just hope that you can get some relief soon. I know how hard it is for me to function as a mom when I’m hurting.

  2. That’s right, don’t let it get you down!!

    The Lord is the only one who can sustain you through all this. Keep clinging on to Him! He is THE physicians of all physicians. Plus, He has the last and final word!

  3. He And Me + 3 says:

    Sorry to hear that…I hope that they were wrong, but will keep you in my prayers. That did make me smile too. Just the laugh you needed.

  4. Alicia, The Snowflake says:

    It made this mama giggle too!

    BTW, have I told you that I appreciate the fact you spell it “Mama” and not “Momma”. I don’t know why it aggravates me to see it spelled the other way. It just does. But, I digress. I can imagine the face. I have seen it myself many times.

    The whole thing makes me want to stomp my feet and have a hissy fit for you. I pray you can get some relief my friend. And I pray that the dr was wrong :o)

  5. Lots of healing thoughts sent your way!

  6. Leave it to kids to add levity to the situation! lol

    I’m sorry you hit another bump in the road. Peaceful thoughts for you.

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