It Wasn’t My Time

As most of my twittermom friends know, I have been in the hospital since late Wednesday night. I apparently suffered a saddle embolism, which is a blood clot that broke off in it’s entirety and traveled to my lung. The Lord spared my life (Psalm 54:4) and instead of the clot staying in one piece and occluding any major arteries, it split into several small pulmonary emboli that are currently in my lungs. Now, I am not a doctor but I can tell you that I almost died and that can certainly give you perspective on so many things.

Hubby and I were in bed Wednesday evening, just watching the President address the nation on the economic fiasco (hey, maybe I can blame him, lol) when all of a sudden it felt like I had a 300 lb person sitting on my chest and I could not breathe. I passed out, hubby called 911 and after an ambulance ride that deserves a post all it’s own, made it to the hospital and the competent doctors were able to figure out what was wrong and start me on the correct treatment.

Since then I have had a lot of time on my hands, sitting in the hospital being watched, prodded and poked by very kind and well meaning nurses, I have been thinking about all the things that God has blessed me with. I have had so much company (it has been exhausting) but I also feel incredibly loved. My hospital room looks like a funeral home with all the flowers- good thing I don’t have allergy issues 🙂 I get to see my youngest live his 11th year (even though I spent his birthday here). My husband has not left my side except to eat and use the bathroom in days. It brings tears to my eyes at what I would have been missing but at the same time I have to confess….

When I heard the ambulance driver say “dude, I think she’s gonna die” (like I said needs a post of it’s own) I was not scared. I know where I am going when I pass my final breath on this earth. What awaits me there is welcome at any time! But God wasn’t ready for me yet. He allowed me to continue to be here longer for my kids, my hubby, my family and friends and to add another chapter to my testimony.

It wasn’t my time….yet. Let us all remember to live every day for Him and the path that He has anointed for us as we do not know the day, time or hour that God could call any of us home.


  1. Oh my gosh. I had no idea! How scary! I'm so glad you are here and okay. *big hugs*


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