When Kids Lie

Last week's #whatworkswednesday FB live video (you can watch it here) was about lying. Lying can be a major problem, especially when raising kids from hard places. No one enjoys being lied to and we can tend to react in negative ways when a child lies. However, kids lie for a lot of different reasons and when we as parents take those lies personally it can set us up for a lot of conflict in our parent/child relationship. It's important to separate what is about you and what is not about you related to your child's behavior. The first thing I want to do is help you understand the various reasons kids, especially kids with developmental trauma, lie and how we, as parents, can help our kids learn that lying isn't necessary in our families. Understanding the why behind certain … [Read more...]

Tips for Smoother Mornings

When mornings get off to a rough start, the chaos and anxiety that ensue can set the tone for our entire day. On #whatworkswednesday a few weeks ago (check out facebook.com/melissasmallwoodwriter to watch the videos), I shared my top six tips for developing a morning routine that can help you ensure better mornings. Here are those tips: Simplify your routine. If there are things that can be done to prepare for the busy day ahead of time, do them ahead of time! Plan quick, on the go breakfasts, check backpacks for papers that need signed, lay out clothes, etc. the night before. Only leave for the morning what can only be done in the morning! The less expectations of our kiddos in the morning, the smoother the morning will be.Have a schedule. In order to help manage the chaos that morning … [Read more...]

Holiday Bucket List Trip to Medieval Times

If you follow me on social media, you know that I love a good bucket list! Spring, summer, fall, winter! Heck, this year my youngest daughter and I are making a bucket list for each month. Such fun and it makes family time so simple when everything is already planned out. Last month, we had the opportunity to cross a major item off our family bucket list! We went to Medieval Times in Baltimore, MD. My husband and I took our 14 year old daughter and 9 year old grandson to a dinner show and we all had the best time! Hubby and I Me and grandson, Trenton The show was full of drama, humor and absolutely gorgeous horses! Trenton enjoyed the jousting and watching the horses perform tricks. Daleah takes horseback riding lessons and was mesmerized by the horses used in the show. … [Read more...]

When the Holidays are Hard for our Kids

Let's face it, the holidays are a stressful time for many people. And our foster/adoptive kiddos have the added stress of processing trauma that can simply be triggered by the calendar this time of year. So, what is a frazzled foster/adoptive mama to do? We want to give our kids quality memories of the holidays and we want to enjoy our time with our extended families while also honoring how hard this time can be for our kids. Below you will find some of my top tips for navigating the holidays with kids from hard places. Four things to avoid: Expectations- Avoid having the expectation of picture perfect moments and melt down free visits with extended family. We need to be realistic with our expectations of kids based on their chronological age and development, their trauma … [Read more...]

SOS Episode 9

I thoroughly enjoyed interviewing Denise Sultenfuss of No Fuss Healthy Living for this episode of the Sharing Our Stories podcast. Denise shares her story of healing Lyme disease and turning her passion for wellness into a writing ministry. She was full of practical tips and wisdom for those on their own wellness journeys. You can learn more about Denise on her blog. She also posts regularly on Facebook and Instagram. Be sure to listen to this informative episode and let me know what you think! … [Read more...]

SOS Podcast Episode 8

Episode 8 is one you don't want to miss. We don't talk about mental health enough, as stigma still exists. This conversation is needed, healthy and important. Julianne Van't Land is a writer, wife and twin mom living in Lexington, Kentucky. You can find her on her blog where she writes about faith, deconstruction, mental health and more. You can also follow her on Instagram and Facebook. You can listen by searching for the SOS Podcast with Melissa Smallwood on your favorite podcast platform … [Read more...]

SOS Podcast Episode 7

Show Notes Episode 7 features an interview with Dr. Sherri Yoder. Sherri encourages and inspires with her story of following God's plan for her life versus the status quo. Listen in to SOS with Melissa Smallwood on your favorite podcast platform! Here are ways you can learn more about and connect with Dr Sherri Website FacebookI Podcast: (on itunes and Spotify) Thriving Thoughts with Dr Sherri Instagram … [Read more...]

Don’t Tell Me There’s No God

I felt him release his grip on my life jacket. I turned my head, still frantically clinging to the dirt and rocks on the embankment he had pushed me to. I saw the look of surrender in his eyes, and the violent current responded by beginning to pull him away. I was safe. He could give up now. It seemed like everything was happening in slow motion as panic welled up inside me and I decided in that moment that I would rather die with him than live without him. I let go of the embankment to grab the strap of his life jacket. "Don't leave me", I screamed over the roar of the raging river as we were sucked back into the current we had been fighting so hard against. July 30, 2018 is a day that will forever be etched into my mind. As a survivor of childhood trauma and a Masters level … [Read more...]

The Power of Acceptance on Mother’s Day

Sometimes there's just not a Mother's Day card that fits. For those of you who have stood awkwardly in the greeting card section of the local supercenter, this post is for you. Maybe you stand in that aisle, putting cards back one by one because you can't find the one that says what you need it to. There isn't a Hallmark card that says "It's okay. You did the best you could and I turned out okay.", now is there? Maybe it's not that you don't want to acknowledge the holiday or let your mom know that you love her, you just want a card that doesn't feel dishonest and phony. Some of us have mom shaped holes in our hearts and there's no day that you feel the ache of those places quite like Mother's Day. To be a mother is to put your child's needs above your own, when necessary. … [Read more...]

In humble gratitude

In 2014, on my old blog that had decent page views, faithful advertisers and loyal subscribers, I published an Open Letter to Michael Brown's mama after his shooting death at the hands of police. I conveyed my deep sympathy for her loss and my sadness over the way her baby's name was being drug through the mud as his youthful mistakes were being blamed for the unjust actions of adults sworn to protect. While I knew my opinion was not popular amongst my Facebook friends, I was completely unprepared for the level of vitriol and hate that filled my inbox after hitting publish on that post. And the source of that hate, judgment and nastiness were my "Christian" readers who felt that I was "abandoning my faith" and "giving officers a death sentence" and "bowing to political … [Read more...]

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